Book Review: "Avila Addendum"
$19.95 Big Peak Press
795pp
review by Evad Edvoh, Imperial Book Reviews, Edinburgh, Scotland
"It's another confounding read from an author increasingly difficult to fathom. Fewer twists and turns than a Nebraska interstate highway. Sominex for the soul."
I read Dave Hovde's first book, "The Cambria Conundrum" when on a longer train trip across northern Europe, my Kindle inexplicably broke. Digging in my backpack the only book pending a view was "Cambria Conundrum", and only on a dare from my editors to see what this first time writer, a Yank non-the-less, could manage. After reading that I was certain I'd never thumb through another Hovde effort, and trust me "effort" is the key word here.
As fate would have it, similar circumstances dropped "Avila Addendum" into my lap. Winter began early here along the north coast of Scotland and my older home was in dire need of new heating equipment earlier than I had hoped. A night of 10 degrees C inside the walls was all I could take, I threw some clothes and books in a bag to crash at my friend Alec's flat. That was three weeks ago, the heating problems so dire the work is not yet complete.
As excruciating as powering through "The Cambria Conundrum" was I couldn't avoid the sequel about reluctant and recalcitrant anti-hero Johnny Strongman. "The Avila Addendum" picks up where Conundrum left off with Strongman staring out over the ocean with clouded over skies. The protagonist, Stongman, is perhaps the most involved certified public accountant you'll find, doing more of his work at a bottom of a glass than on the right side of a spreadsheet. I only say that last sentence because Hovde, the author, pens it in the book's jacket. Inside the pages his anti-hero, Strongman, spends more time wandering around town running mundane errands than actually working on any project. Those errands are well detailed, too well detailed.
In Avila Addendum Strongman is hired by some local land developers with a suspicion that local agencies are being paid off not to develop more land near the swanky beach town, Avila Beach. We'd know more about this plot except Strongman nor the author ever reveal it. Strongman, when asked by other characters in the book, simply and repeatedly when asked about his latest assignment, "I'll tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." Strongman also repeats, annoyingly, other catch phrases: "Another day another dollar" and "Hit me". For instance, he answers every phonecall with, "Hit me" and less than whimsically uses "another day another dollar" speaking to another character at a funeral in what would have been a touching moment, then Strongman spins both phrases together seconds later ordering and paying for a drink. Then again moments later trying to gain the attentions of the widow.
Hovde never explains the plot in narrative either, rather he gets mired in exhaustive details about coin operated laundries and spends an entire chapter about spotty cell phone coverage in the sparely developed Central Coast, and another entire chapter describing (inaccurately) how the Civil War impacted California (how it drove out the dinosaurs for instance). Hovde's character has friends, but none he involves in cases. Strongman tells his friends in the book, "You nimrods aren't smart enough to tear through these books, there are some big numbers in here." He also says of his relationships with women, "I don't have time to see anyone, these Excel spreadsheets are at least 30% more important than love. Show me a walking, talking spreadsheet and you can book the church."
(Spoiler Alert)
Avila Addendum is ultimately a disappointment because Strongman dies in the 4th chapter, the case left in a awkwardly skidding abeyance. The final 300 pages is a quagmire of dialogue from his friends. First they determine Strongman died of food poisoning, unrelated to the case because he ate something very old from his fridge. Then they make burial arrangements (complaining non-stop about the costs), they eat food and sputter on endlessly about themselves, and Bravo reality shows.
I was shocked when I heard Hovde plans to pen a third book about Strongman. The working title is "The Pozo Paradox". I had occasion to visit with Hovde about the project in London last week, it was not fruitful. Hovde and an army of handlers met me at a small East End coffee shop. After lengthy introductions to at least three people claiming to be his publicist I finally cornered the man who had burnt at least 7 hours of my life in a sea of un-navigated scribble.
"Hit me." Hovde says with a wry grin sitting down. I almost spit up my latte, but gathered myself for a question.
"Why don't you follow a plot in your books?"
(Phone rings. Hovde digs three different phones out of pockets, finds the one making noise and sets the two others on the table both flashing from missed messages of some sort. He hands the phone off to a very tall man nearby. He gathers himself...)
"Do you have one...a plot..I mean in your life? What's it about? I bet you don't. No one does. That's why people love these books."
I couldn't help myself, "But they don't. We only read them around the office because they are the worst books ever written."
"That's not what Korean radio seems to think (as he points to a handler on the phone), I am gonna be on some radio show tomorrow morning. 4 a-m their time, we are still trying to figure out what that means in our time. I'd write a book about that but time travel and physics are pretty hard to write about. So is certified public accounting, that's why I killed Strongman off. That's what you want to know right?"
"Yes, how do you plan to make a sequel?"
"Prequel man. I'd tell you more but then I'd have to kill you."
I wanted to ask why he insists on printing on new paper (not recycled) after he bragged to a Danish paper his latest book had the largest carbon footprint on the planet and shouldn't be thrown because the ink used was so cheap it was a danger in landfills. But just as I was about to Hovde finished his drink. He and his entourage clattered out of the coffee shop leaving me with as much clarity as "Avila Addendum". He only stopped by the counter momentarily stuffing a Euro in a tin. I couldn't hear him or read his lips as we were too far away but I am quite certain he said, "Another day another dollar."
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