I don't tell a lot of lies about what I am capable of doing because at some point someone will look you square in the eyes and expect you to show them.

I have never claimed I can cook, and I think it is safe to say at this point whatever I learn here on in will be just enough to get me by.  That said, I am a HUGE fan of cooking shows, especially the competitive ones like MasterChef which is new to America developed by the BBC and now airing on FOX.

This is a show where Gordon Ramsey and two other haughty chefs have gathered the best non-professional people from their kitchens at home and run them through a competition to see who is the best.  The winner gets to publish a cookbook.  The tests include getting a box of ingredients and an hour with the only goal to wow the judges.  Some experience jubilation, some get their hopes dashed under sharp tongued wit then must literally walk off the set with camera rolling.  I would just hand them the box back.  I would love to have Gordon Ramsey's respect but I will not earn it in the kitchen.

It takes years of appreciation of food to get to the point where you can impress real chefs with skills developed at home and not a culinary school.  By comparison I have lived in my new apartment for a month and I have not pulled out a pot or pan from the garage yet.  Those pots and pans along with the finest plastic cookware (spatula, cooking spoon and a few measuring cups) were lovingly selected at Wal Mart by looking at the lowest price tag.  I only hope the pot has the properties that it can hold water and keep its integrity if it is heated to a boil.  I assume the pan has a non-stick surface because it is dark gray, but for no other reason than that.

Spices, lets see.  I have salt, pepper, garlic salt, flavored popcorn toppings, and a few other random shakers of all-in-one type seasonings mostly given to me out of pity in an attempt to spark some interest in the endeavor to enjoy preparing food.  I have to say I think my job in TV has a lot to do with not cooking.  The night schedule only allows for an hour dinner break and clanging around pots and pans when 5 dollar footlongs are an option seems intimidating.  I often hear you should cook once a week and prepare food you can take to work.  Yes, I understand this conceptually.  But let me show you what passes for food supplies at my place:



Yes, the staple, Crab Classic.  As the bag clearly states it is not crab at all but "crab-flavored seafood made from surimi, a fully cooked fish protien."  The last word is the only important word, protien.  I have heard that word before, that means something good right?  My body needs that?  Chunks of this over salad and I feel like I am eating for some health food experiment.  I get EPA and DHA in every serving?!  Awesome, let me Google those.



Raisinets.  As this package says it is fruit antioxidants and 30% less fat.  All good.  The lower right corner looks like some kind of seal of goodness or award has been bestowed, so gotta keep this around.



And, of course, combining the magic of chocolate and teeth rotting powers of gummi-bears is "Muddy Bears".  I am not offering this as food so much as a silly picture.  I bought these for someone else but it is taking up position in the kitchen.

Actually I am using this blog as a motivation to go and dig around the garage for the cooking utensils.  When I was a kid I remember watching my Dad cook.  He did it in a way I can understand.  He is a pharmacist by trade and he would measure ingredients exactly on a scale and follow cooking directions to the letter like it was a doctor's prescription for food.  Always turned out great.  I think, like me, this was not a natural set of instincts or family cooking tradition but something he figured out along the way.

I am going back to Minnesota next week and my Dad will be there.  He still cooks the best breakfast in the world with the basics: eggs, bacon, toast, OJ and coffee.  Always made to order however and prepared carefully, I expect he'll make it even though he can't eat that kind of food anymore.

So, I have to figure this out and stop giving myself excuses.  A person should make at least some good food at home.  I have the interest in it having watched Chef Ramsey yell at hundreds of people I think I know a few things not to do (don't overcook scallops or undercook the risotto).  I think at this point just cooking "something" would be a good start.  But I am hungry right now and somehow Muddy Bears and Raisnetts are not going to do it.  Have to leave the man cave for food.